Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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