she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
