He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize