i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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