I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
