exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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