Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize