I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
