I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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