Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
