She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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