There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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