Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
