Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
