yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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