three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
