I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
