we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
