I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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