i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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