I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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