How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
