Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
