Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
