I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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