You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have aggressive nipples.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
