marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You're like the curious george of whores
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
