I think I am morally bankrupt
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize