there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
