My friends, they love my intelligence
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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