he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish you could order shots online.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
