porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
