I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
