People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
