people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
