I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
