why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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