god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize