haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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