can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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