is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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