I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she told me i tasted like america
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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