that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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