batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize