Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
