Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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