Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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