Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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