Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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