Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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