put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
