He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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