Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
