My brain says no but my pants say off.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
