I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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