Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize