So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
