ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hippo gnu deer
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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