umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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