North Korea, Best Korea!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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