I got chris browned last night
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
